Deviation Actions
Literature Text
It occurred to me that any normal person would be feeling some sense of happiness as they saw something so beautiful. But I couldn't
appreciate it. Not today at least.
I fingered the locket in my hand, and calmness spread through my body as I felt the familiar sensation between my fingers. It had become a habit of mine, to rub the thing whenever I felt nervous, sad, or whenever I just needed to feel reassured. I’d been doing it so often lately that the delicately engraved pattern on the front was beginning to wear away.
I sighed and stood up. Staying here wasn't going to help my mood. But the house still felt so normal, like…nothing had changed. I walked quickly through the house, avoiding looking at any of the walls. They were full of his pictures. I grabbed my jacket and keys from by the door and walked out, slamming it shut behind me.
I stuffed my hands in my pockets as I walked. It was the one year anniversary since Elliot had died, not that the world seemed to
notice. Everything was still the same. People still went to work, the sun rose and set, the world kept spinning. When he died, I felt like everything should have stopped, the people, the sun, the world. Everything should have just stopped, because when Elliot died, my
world had stopped.
It’s not like I had adjusted to it much either. In the mornings I’d wake up and roll over to say good morning, only to remember that
the space next to me was empty. I’d think of something funny and turn to tell him, only to see he wasn't by my side. I’d need support and would go to ask him to hold me, only to realize that I’d never feel his arms around me again.
I quickly dashed a tear from my cheek then looked around to see where I was. I had to smile when I realized I’d unconsciously been walking along the beach. Elliot had always loved the place. He really was the “enjoys-long-walks-on-the-beach” type. But his favourite place of all must have been the wharf. He could have just stood there and stared at the open sea for hours. I’d never know what was running through his mind.
I sighed and walked along the wharf, standing in the exact same place he would have stood, and just looked out over the sea. I could
understand why he did it. The sound of the waves crashing against each other was incredibly relaxing, and the colour of the sunset turned the water various shades of orange and red, like the sky was in two places at once.
As I stood there I thought about Elliot, about everything that made him up. He’s green-blue eyes, his dimples; his cheeky smile. The way
he laughed, the way he pursed his lips when he was angry, or stroked his chin when he was deep in thought. The far-away look in his eyes as he stared at the sea. How it would feel like he was so far away that I wasn't able to reach him.
I remembered the first time he had brought me here. It had been on a summer evening just like this, a couple of years ago. We’d just been to a carnival, and he said he wanted to treat me to a walk along the beach. I’d rolled my eyes at the idea but had agreed anyway.
"Did you have a good time?” he asked, running his fingers through his light brown hair.
I nodded and smiled, gripping his hand with my own. “Yeah, it was blast…until you threw up on the roller-coaster.”
“Hey! I couldn't help it; do you know how scary that thing is when you go upside-down?”
“Yeah, and I told you not to eat all that ice-cream just before we got on the ride.”
He laughed. “Well then consider my lesson learned.” He took his hand from mine and instead wrapped his arm around my waist, pulling me close to him. I felt butterflies erupt in my stomach.
“The sunset is nice, isn't it?”
I nodded. “Yeah. I guess I never really take much notice of it though.”
He looked shocked. “Why not? It’s beautiful!”
I shrugged, wondering why he was so surprised. “I don’t know. You can’t really see it from my place, so I don’t think about it much.”
He was quiet for a moment; then grinned at me. “Come on.”
"What-?”
A second later he grabbed my hand and took off down the beach, almost dragging me after him. I shook my head and laughed as we ran, stumbling and tripping over the soft sand. Eventually we were running over the wharf and I stopped and stared.
“Oh wow…”
It was just amazing, standing there and looking at the open sea as the sun set behind the waves. The sky was painted different shades of orange and red and shone over the sea, making the water look like fire. The breeze was cool and crisp, and I sighed as I listened to the waves crash onto the beach.
I felt Elliot’s arms come around me as he hugged me from behind, pulling me into his chest. I smiled and leaned into him, just enjoying standing there and looking at the beautiful scenery.
“You like it?”
“I love it. It’s beautiful.”
“Not as beautiful as you though.”
I laughed and rolled my eyes. “Please Elliot, give me a break.”
“No, it’s true.”
I turned my head to look at him, my heart beating frantically in my chest. He looked at me for a moment, his green-blue eyes searching my own. I felt my face flush and the next second his lips were on mine, kissing me so softly and sweetly I felt fireworks explode behind my eyelids.
I turned around in his arms and wrapped my arms around his neck, and I felt him smile against my lips. When we broke away his face was flushed, his eyes sparkling. He smiled down at me.
“I love you babe.”
I blushed and buried my face in his chest. “I love you too, E.”
I could still remember everything so clearly. The way his voice sounded, how his lips were so soft, how it felt to be wrapped in his
strong arms. In fact, I could still feel them around me now, so warm and strong, wrapping me up and holding me close. It was like he was still here.
“I am still here, dummy.”
I gasped and looked around, my heart beating wildly in my chest as I heard the familiar voice. I whipped my head around, looking in all
directions, but there was no one there but me. I frowned and turned around again, looking back as the sun slowly set.
“Great, now I'm hearing things.”
“You’re not hearing things.”
I looked around again, this time properly scared and confused. “What the hell is going on?”
“I may not be here physically, but I am still here.”
I took a deep, shuddering breath as I felt my eyes sting with tears. “Okay, whoever is doing this, you better-“
“Why can’t you believe it’s me?” He sounded hurt now, and I felt tears run down my cheeks.
“Because you’re dead, that’s why!” I almost shouted, trembling and shaking and goodness knows what else. I felt like the world was completely out of control, that it was falling out from under my feet.
"Hey sshhh,” he whispered as I sobbed. I felt his imaginary arms tighten around me, pulling me into his chest. “It’s okay, I'm here.”
“B-but why? I thought…well I mean you’re…”
“Dead? Yeah, that’s true.” He sighed. I felt him slowly rock me from side to side, and I finally gave up trying to figure out some logical
reason as to what was happening. I hadn't felt his arms around me in so long so I just let it go and let him hold me, sobbing and sobbing until I thought my heart would burst and my eyes would run out of tears.
"But then how-“
“I'm concerned about you; that’s why.”
I took a deep breath and wiped my face. “Why? I'm doing fine.”
“Babe, trust me. I know what it’s like to be dead, but the way you’re living…I swear, you’re better at it than I am.”
I felt my eyes widen in shock. Had I really been living such a dull, miserable life? The answer was easy of course. I had been.
I looked down at the ground and smiled sadly. “That bad, huh?”
He laughed. “Yes, that bad.” He tilted my chin up with his finger, and I could almost see how his eyes would be searching mine, trying to
find some way to help me. What he said next was a bit of a surprise.
“Do you still have that locket?”
I blinked, trying to figure out where this conversation was going. “Yes…why?”
A second later my locket was hovering in mid-air as Elliot held it in his fingers, and I had to blink again to see if I was dreaming. I gently
pinched myself on the arm, just to be sure. It hurt, and I winced. Okay. So this was happening.
He opened it and then showed me the picture inside. I smiled when I saw it. We’d sneaked off during a beach party and sat on some rocks by the sea. We were leaning our foreheads together and had conspiratorial smiles on our faces, like we were sharing a secret.
"Do you remember what we were talking about?”
I nodded. We’d been talking about what we wanted to do with our lives, where we wanted to go together, sights we wanted to see, things we wanted to achieve…
"And have you done any of those things?”
I shook my head slowly. “No…”
“Why not?”
“Because…well because…” I clenched my fists. “Because we wanted to do those things together,” I whispered. “But now that you’re not here I guess…I don’t know, I didn't want to do any of those things without you.”
“Oh sweetheart,” he murmured. He gathered me in his arms and gently stroked my back. I sighed. It felt so nice to be held like this again. “Just because I'm dead doesn't mean you have to stop living.”
“But-"
“You have to live for both of us now, okay? And remember what I said earlier? Just because I'm not here in person, doesn't mean I'm not
with you. I'm always with you.”
I laughed a little. “You sound like a cheesy movie.”
He laughed and brushed some hair out of my eyes, tilting my chin up. Again, I could picture him looking down at me, his cheeky smile
playing across his face. “It’s true though, I'm always with you. So will you start living again?”
I smiled and nodded. “For you, definitely.”
“For us.” I felt him kiss my cheek, his lips warm and soft, just like they had always been. Then his arms disappeared from around me, leaving me standing there on the wharf clutching my locket in my hand.
I smiled as I looked out over the sea. “I’ll start living,” I murmured, more to myself than to him. “For both of us.”
It's called Anniversary because I think I originally wrote it for a contest haha. XD The name's stuck though and I can't be bothered to think up a new one.
Thank you
for taking a look at it all that time ago! Your comments were SO helpful. <3Anyway, enjoy!
